WORRIED ABOUT SEXUAL ADDICTION OR COMPULSION?
DR. ZOLDBROD IS A RECOGNIZED EXPERT IN THE FIELD

An estimated 14 million Americans-- 1 in 17 people, have a form of sexual addiction or compulsion. If you live in Boston and you're concerned about--or finally recognizing -your sexual addiction or compulsions, you want expert help. You'd like to see a top professional in Boston.

Dr. Aline Zoldbrod's work in the field of sexual addiction has been nationally recognized for years. In 1998, she published her award-winning book Sex Smart, which described in detail one of the most common developmental pathways to sexual addiction. SexSmart is used in the understanding and treatment of sexual addiction in academia, community centers, private and group practices, and in self-help groups for sexual addiction in the United States and abroad.

Are you a sex addict? Take this quick quiz

Cited on Sexual Addiction in the Media

Dr. Zoldbrod has been cited on sexual addiction by major national newspapers, in magazines, on radio stations, on TV, and in professional and popular books since 1998. Her comments on the increase in pornography addiction are even entered into the Federal Record (U.S. Senate , November 2005.)

Recognized for Her Contribution to the Understanding and Treatment of Sexual Addiction

Dr. Zoldbrod's contribution to the understanding and treatment of sexual addiction is recognized by men and women trying to heal from sexually compulsive behavior. She is cited on many, many sites and blogs, including:

Addictions.com
Myguidebee.com
Selfharmalliance.org
Overcomingaddictions.com
12step.org
SLAAonline.org (Sex and Love Addicts)
Overcoming-porn-addiction.com
Aherosjourney.com
Quitpornaddiction.com
Sexaddictionhealing.com
Healthyplace.org

Speaker on Sexual Addiction at Professional Conferences

Dr. Aline Zoldbrod has been lecturing to professional groups such as AASECT (The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists) and SASH (Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health) on the developmental factors which often lead to sexual addiction since the late 1990's. You can order a CD of her presentation at the 2008 SASH National Conference on Sexual Addiction entitled "Sexual Development 101: Using the Milestones of Sexual Development Model to Understand and Treat the Underlying Issues of Sexual Addiction" from Lawrence Media Group (www.lawrencemedia group.com, 800-466-1962, SASH 2008, September 20, session 7-3)

Dr. Zoldbrod's Contribution to the Field of Sexual Addiction Has Been Recognized by Fellow Professionals:

"A valuable resource for anyone who wants to understand and explore the root cause of adult sexual intimacy concerns."

--Wendy Maltz M.S.W. Author, The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography

"SexSmart is the book that I hand to my patients who tell me that they do not recall being sexually abused but who nevertheless feel that "something is wrong with me." The Milestones in Sexual Development model is particularly helpful for patients dealing with sex addiction and co-addiction, because the sexual behaviors that get acted out almost always can be correlated with a failure to successfully negotiate specific milestones. It is an empowering book that encourages people to be in the solution, not in the problem. This is one of the books that I wish that I had written."

--Ginger Manley APRN BC, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Diplomate, and Certified Supervisor; Certified Sex Addiction Therapist

 

ANYONE CAN BECOME "ADDICTED" TO SEX

Dr. Zoldbrod's patients come from all walks of life. They are physicians, lawyers, plumbers, business owners, executives, computer programmers, engineers, teachers, psychotherapists, nurses, police, entrepreneurs, salesmen, military, and more-- men and women, gay, bi and straight, single or coupled.

DIFFERENT PATHWAYS TO SEXUAL ADDICTION

There are many different pathways to becoming addicted to sex. In every case, it was an accident. Sexual addiction is not something you choose. That's interesting, too, since it begins as something you did choose, does provide pleasure, but becomes impossible to control.

And sexual addiction can take many, many forms, including but not limited to obsession with internet porn, pursuing high priced call girls, constant masturbation, prostitutes, cruising Craig's list for anonymous sex, or constant frequenting of strip clubs and massage parlors.

You probably began to use sex to deal with some feelings you didn't like. Whether the feelings are frustration, boredom, feeling out of control, anger or disappointment or frustration with your partner, anxiety, sadness, loneliness or something else, sexual addiction is a "solution" that turns into a problem, and your life spins out of control.

Are you a sex addict? Take this quick quiz

Powerful and/or Type A Personalities

One group of people having trouble with sexual additions are men and women who have a huge amount of control over their life in other spheres. They pride themselves on their success and their sense of control. If you're in this group, maybe you first began masturbating to porn as a teenager, which is completely normal, but later you probably began to use sex compulsively to get what you wanted somewhere when you were becoming frustrated with feeling not-so-in-control in your job or your relationship. You've been so successful and powerful in every other realm, but this is a behavior you can't stop, and you're concerned.

If this describes your pathway to sexual addiction and compulsion, you need a very smart, seasoned and accomplished sexual addiction therapist, because you need to talk to someone who is intelligent enough to figure out your particular puzzle and your specific treatment plan, someone who you can respect and who you can't push around!

People with Social Anxiety and Lack of Sexual Confidence or Experience

Another common pattern occurs most often among men who as teenagers did not feel successful with girls. Trying to get dates, or experiencing fear and anxiety on dates is such a difficult experience that you retreated into the impersonal world of sexual addiction--often computer porn or anonymous or paid sex.

People With a Recognized or Unrecognized History of Familial Neglect, Violence, or Abuse

Though the cause of sexual addiction can differ from person to person, many sexual addicts come from families where their emotional needs were not met. There may have been emotional and physical neglect, violence, sexual abuse, or alcohol or drug addiction. Statistics have shown that this is the case for more than 80% of the people who get caught up in sexual addiction.

For whatever reason, your parents may have failed to provide you with good experiences in the Milestones of Sexual Development.

You didn't have kind and consistent touch or emotional support when you were young. You learned not to trust and not to become vulnerable and attached to other people.

Now, as an adult, deep down you don't feel loved. You don't trust others.

SexSmart is an excellent companion to the leading books on understanding sexual addiction.

SexSmart will help you map your past so that you understand what happened to you in detail:

Why did you begin to use sex to calm and soothe yourself?

Why did it happen so early in life?

Why is emotional intimacy so scary?

Dealing with your addiction is like going on a journey. An important part of healing is going back into the past and looking--frame-by-frame, as if you are watching a movie--at what happened to you when you were younger.

You need to look with new eyes, eyes that understand the concept of sexual addiction. Using the exercises at the end of each chapter, you will be able to allow yourself to feel the feelings that were too dangerous to feel before.

SexSmart will give you a detailed roadmap of how your unexplored feelings about your past created your pattern of sexual addiction, and SexSmart's exercises and journaling will give you a recipe for how to overcome it.

You will read the stories of other sex addicts, men and women like you who have already taken the journey to sexual recovery using the wisdom contained in SexSmart.

TREATMENT FOR SEXUAL ADDICTION WITH DR. ZOLDBROD

Whatever your sexual compulsion, your treatment with Dr. Zoldbrod will be tailored to your individual pathway to sexual addiction, your individual needs, and your specific situation.

Getting over compulsive sexual behavior is an intensive process, and an approach that blends heart and mind. The goal of treatment is to stop compulsive sexual behavior but to discover, define, learn (or re-learn) how to enjoy sexuality which feels healthy.

For each of you, your journey will be different.

Individual therapy for sexual addiction with Dr. Zoldbrod involves:

Specialized techniques for assessing resources --An individualized assessment and ongoing support.

Depending on the results of the individual needs assessment, treatment usually will include:

• Identification of specific developmental and current vulnerabilities
• Assessment of any co-occurring problems and addictions
• An evaluation of where you are in the "stages of change"
• Assessment of sexual development and pre-addictive sexual functioning (Using Dr. Zoldbrod's Milestones model.)
• A powerful imagistic technique to assess deficits in self esteem
• Learn how to identify, tolerate, and healthfully process difficult feelings
• A specific technique to identify and strengthen the healthy internal resources you need to cope with your cravings
• Being taught how to identify internal triggers such as boredom or depression which trigger compulsive behavior
• Identifying lifestyle changes needed in order to cut down on unnecessary exposure to problematic sexual temptations and individual cravings
• A sophisticated model which explains the way you brain needs to change in order to overcome your sexual addiction
• Encouragement to join a support group
• A process to create accountability for your actions
• Suggested readings

Couple therapy is available as well

Contact Dr. Zoldbrod to Make An Appointment

Click here to read Dr. Zoldbrod's hisandherhealth.com article about sexual addiction.

Copyright © Aline Zoldbrod 2010

Resources: Groups

12 Step Groups:

Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA)
www.saa-recovery.org
800-477-8191

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA)
www.slaafws.org
210- 828-7900

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
www.sa.org
866-424-8777

Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA)
www.sca-recovery.org
800 977-HEAL
Members of SCA are primarily, although not wholly, gay and bi-sexual

Recovering Couples Anonymous (RCA)
www.recovering-couples.org
510-663-2312

S-Anon
www.sanon.org
800-210-8141
A 12-step group for relatives and friends of sexually addicted people.

Codependents of Sex Addicts (COSA)
www.cosa-recovery.org
763-537-6904

Non Twelve Step

Smart Recovery
www.smartrecovery.org
866-951-5357

Professional Groups

Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH)
www.sash.net
770-541-9912

Books: Sex and Relationship Addiction

Augustine Fellowship, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Fellowship-Wide Service, Inc. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. Boston, 1986.

Canning, Maureen. Lust Anger Love: Understanding Sexual Addiction and the Road to Healthy Intimacy. Naperville, IL: Sourcebooks, Inc., 2008.

Carnes, Patrick. Don’t Call It Love: Recovery from Sexual Addiction. New York: Bantam, 1991.

Carnes, Patrick J. Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction. Center City, MN: Hazelden, 1983, 1992, 2001.

Carnes, Patrick and David L. Delmonico, Elizabeth Griffin, and Joseph Moriarty. In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior. Center City, MN: Hazelden, 2001.

Carnes, Patrick and Joseph Moriarty. Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming Sexual Self-Hatred. Center City, MN: Hazelden, 1997.

Golden, Gale. In the Grip of Desire: A Therapist Works with Sexual Secrets. New York: Routledge, 2009

Kasl, Charlotte Davis. Women, Sex, and Addiction: A Search for Love and Power. New York: Harper and Row, 1989.

Maltz, Wendy and Larry. The Porn Trap. New York: Harper-Collins, 2008.
Mellody, Pia. Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love. San Francisco: Harper San Francisco, 1992.

P.D.N.E.C. Hope and Recovery: A Twelve-Step Guide for Healing from Sexually Compulsive Behavior. Center City, MN: Hazelden, 1987.

Schaef, Anne Wilson. Escape from Intimacy: Untangling the “Love” Addictions: Sex, Romance, Relationships. New York: Harper Collins, 1989.

Weiss, Robert. Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men. Los Angeles: Alyson Books, 2005.

Williamson, P., and S. Kiser. Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction. Haze

Zoldbrod, Aline. SexSmart: How Your Childhood Shaped Your Sexual Life and What to Do About It. Originally 1998, now iUniverse, 2009.

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